We are humans and we are not always on time to reach somewhere we are supposed to be. Here are some crazy excuses for showing up late to work.
“My llama gave birth last night”
This from an IT manager responsible for 36 programmers and QA staff at a billion-dollar company. She raised llamas in her spare time, so it was probably the truth.
Even funnier, she didn’t seem to think it was an unusual excuse! Sick kids and funerals can’t be avoided, but she mentioned it as if HR gave everyone three “live llama birth” days a year.
Llama birth became the default explanation for employee absences and an excuse to get out of social engagements:
“You didn’t hear? His llama gave birth last night.”
She was a coworker, not an employee, so I hope this still counts.
A fresh hire, and trouble from the start. Told the supervisor that she had to have Mondays, Wednesdays and Sundays off for church, needed Tuesdays off for classes at the Y, needed at least one evening off to spend with her husband, and so on. She was the kind of person you knew wasn’t going to last long, especially in a hospital setting. You just don’t get to name your terms like that. But for whatever reason, she got hired.
Anyway, one day, she went home for lunch. We didn’t get a long lunch, it was usually right on a half hour and not worth going off-campus. But she drove home to her apartment across town, and we didn’t hear from her for a couple more hours. Finally, she called and said, “I came home and forgot I was working today. Can I just stay? Do I have to come back in?”
The supervisor said that no, she did not have to come back in. (Ever.)
I’ve had my fair share of colleagues calling in with tall tales, but this one takes the biscuit. Quite possibly, the whole jar.
My aunt owns a limestone quarry. One of her lorry drivers tasked with ferrying quarried limestone to the marble factory called in to say that his wife had passed away the night before, and asked for a few day’s worth of compassionate leave.
My aunt told him to take as much time as he needed. After hanging up the phone, she decided to drive over and offer her condolences in person.
The wife answered the door.
- I’m surprised I haven’t read this yet, because this excuse affected people all over the US.It was about two or three years ago when Apple pushed a faulty update to the iPhone. This particular update inadvertently stopped your alarm from going off in the morning. So when 6am rolled around (I was working at a multi station ambulance company at the time) EVERYONE that owned an iPhone did not show up to work. A rather alarming thing when that meant we were eight employees short! Of course the surrounding 911 companies were also affected. It was a hectic morning.
I once worked with a gal who had some of the most hilarious excuses for being late and missing days entirely. She was very funny and clumsy herself so some may have been true, but all of ’em certainly aren’t. Here’s a few choice ones…
- “I superglued my eye shut thinking it was contact solution.”
- She missed a second half of day because she, “Got stuck in the blood pressure cuff at Rite Aid.”
- “Yesterday was (insert Jewish holiday)” while plainly wearing a cross…Which she wore everyday.
- “I sleep eat sometimes and I guess I dropped my car keys in a glass of water which froze in the freezer and I had to thaw it.”
- “Sorry I’m late. I helped a woman give birth on the side of the road this morning.”
- “The heater broke so I had to stay home and cuddle with my snakes to keep them warm.”
- “I accidentally drove off with the gasoline pump in my car and had to return it.”
- “A coffin fell out of a hearse and hit my car. The lid flipped open and the deceased body inside was a huge fat man and he cracked my windshield.”
Those are a few of the funniest. Oddly enough, the woman was fantastic at her job, always got her work done ahead of time and was very well liked so some managers just laughed and let it be and others took it very seriously.
Do you have any crazy excuses for showing up late to work? do share them in the comments section below and we will share them in our next posts.